Blog Post Four: What is a Trauma Response?
Understanding the Common, the Subtle, and the Path Toward Healing
By Audrey Reyes, LCSW | The Practice Counseling Services
When we hear the term trauma response, most people think of the visible signs:
shaking, crying, fear, anxiety, hypervigilance—reactions that are loud, disruptive, or easily recognized.
But what often gets overlooked are the quiet responses, the ones we carry for years and don’t even realize are rooted in trauma:
Over-apologizing
People-pleasing
Workaholism
Emotional numbness
Sleeping too much—or not enough
Overeating or undereating
Shutting down or “checking out” in relationships
These are not flaws.
They are coping strategies—developed by a nervous system doing its best to survive something overwhelming.
Big “T” vs. Little “t” Trauma
You may have heard trauma described in two ways:
Big “T” Trauma – significant, often life-threatening events (abuse, accidents, violence)
Little “t” trauma – chronic stressors or emotional wounds that accumulate (neglect, abandonment, ongoing shame, emotional invalidation)
While this framework can be helpful, it can also lead to self-judgment.
I hear it often:
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Other people have been through worse.”
“I shouldn’t still be struggling with this.”
But trauma isn’t about the event itself—it’s about the impact it had on you.
Your nervous system doesn’t rank experiences.
It reacts to perceived threat, pain, and overwhelm—whether the source was obvious to others or not.
The Hidden Barrier: Judgment
One of the greatest obstacles to healing trauma isn’t the memory—it’s the judgment of the experience.
When we downplay or minimize what happened to us, we deny ourselves the right to heal.
And without that validation, we may continue to cope in ways that hurt us, even if they once helped us survive.
So How Do We Begin to Heal?
Healing doesn’t begin with fixing.
It begins with acknowledging.
Step 1: Name It
Allow yourself to say, “I experienced something painful—and it affected me.”
You don’t need to justify it or compare it.
Step 2: Seek Safe Support
Connect with loved ones who hold space for your story.
Or work with a trauma-informed therapist who can help you navigate what your body and emotions have held.
Step 3: Tend to the Emotional Wounds
When we break a bone, we care for it with casts and rest.
But emotional wounds often go untreated—even though they can be just as painful and long-lasting.
Healing emotional trauma requires intentional care:
Creating safety in your body
Rewiring old patterns
Practicing self-compassion over shame
Learning new ways to regulate your nervous system
Final Thought
The hardest part of trauma isn’t always the moment it happens.
Sometimes, it’s the realization that we are now responsible for our own healing.
Not because it was our fault,
but because it’s the only way forward.
Your pain is real.
Your healing is possible.
And you do not have to walk that path alone.
